In a distant room, you can hear the haunting sounds of music. As you approach the source, you gasp in horror as you see the hand that plays the piano is completely dismembered. Now, this might seem shocking but you haven’t experienced anything until you’ve listened to Matt and Jason’s cacophonous commentary on 1946′s The Beast With Five Fingers. Now come the hallucinations as your handsome hosts soothe you with movie background, Matt’s tween superhero days, robot girlfriends, cunning stunts, Batman and Penguin’s hilarious sexual escapades, dictators and the women who don’t love them, “pianists”, Jason’s hatred for female hairstyles of the 1940s, the gayness of mustaches, and other nails hammered into your extremities. So, relax and let the music… slay!
You have received a transmission of unknown origin. The course of your journey has been interrupted for three hours in the darkness of space, in which no one can hear you scream. Your special order is to return with our commentary on 1979′s Alien. All other priorities are rescinded as your handsome hosts celebrate Terror Transmission’s 4th anniversary. You’ll also have plenty of time before the emergency destruct system reaches zero to enjoy film background, misunderstood genius, movie tech vs. modern-day tech, science fiction’s influence on actual tech, machine vs. man vs. monster, “face hugging”, Matt Meets The Plush Godzilla, token vs. token, dictator directors, comparison to Aliens and other primordial pustulence. This is Matt and Jason, signing off.
Sometimes, it really does take a mob of sexually assaultive sea monsters to bring a community together. And group action is what your handsome hosts are all about as they foster their own twisted brand of awareness for 1980′s Humanoids from the Deep. Listen as Matt and Jason build good social relations through film facts, fat kid ineptitude, the biblical justification for stoning babies, Terror Transmission’s booze cruise, Morrow’s wacky death, overinflated Indian names, gay code, plucky women and other ways to create deeper respect and mutual trust. There’s certainly nothing fish-y about that!
High atop the icy mountain peaks, the tentacled terror awaits you. Given the circumstances, there isn’t much time to descend the face of that terrible cliff. But, you do have an hour or two to spare for a breath of fresh air known as 1958′s The Crawling Eye. Avalanches are the least of your worries as you survive the harsh conditions of movie background, the crawling fly, the return of British evil, tacky Americana, Jason’s type of guy, the Germans and their twisted naughty films, the NEW chosen land, pseudoscientific quackery, another out-of-the-blue Bond rant, eugenics, and other radioactive freaks of nature. That’s right. Nasty business. Very nasty.
Right now, he’s out there. Watching, waiting. Don’t look… he’ll see you. Don’t move… he’ll hear you. Don’t breathe… just listen carefully as Matt and Jason give it to you straight at their fireside chat on 1981′s The Burning. Deep in the forest, you’ll hear the cries of film details, the glut of camping murder movies, pot deal refunds, IMDB idiocy, Matt’s love of ice princesses, summer camp memories, the horrors of terrycloth, the misunderstood Cropsy and other revenge on those meddling kids. So, are you in? Because, if not… YOU’RE DEAD!
We like pretty girls. We only kill pretty girls. And that’s why only a couple of ladykillers like Matt and Jason could bring you the sanguinary saga of 1964′s Blood and Black Lace. So, slip on your murder mask and meet us on the catwalk as we parade movie details, quack psychology, misogyny around the world, spontaneous homicide musings, Jason’s million mentions of Black Sabbath (the movie), the compliance of deceased sexual partners, Bava vs. Argento, models as meat, and other tasty Italian treats. Does the sight of beauty make you lose control? Then listen in!
The funeral is about to begin. Never mind the scurrying creatures and flying weaponized spheres. Just bow your head and hang on tight as Matt and Jason open the portal to 1979′s Phantasm. You might think that when you die, you go to Heaven, but you’ll actually come to us for movie trivia, ’70s dirtbag guys, why modern cars suck, Matt’s intentionally bad French, hair helmets, bachelorette parties gone wild, dwarf vs. midget vs. little person, unisex names, and other things that are little, brown and low to the ground. It’s definitely going to be a hot time. Hot as love. You know?
Sometimes, you just have to get your lovin’ where you can. And Matt and Jason really get out their grave digging shovels for 1964′s The Tomb of Ligeia. Prepare for a mindless sort of madness as your handsome hosts exhume movie background, natural lighting for home porn, British horses, death and resurrection, May-December relationships, Jason’s necrophiliac desires, Matt’s favorite Dr. Who, sexy pale girls, drinking breast milk and other things that make you go meow. Just don’t look into their eyes. They will confound you!
Teleportation can have some odd side effects. You might start sprouting strange hairs or even acquire the ability to climb all over the walls. If these and other symptoms persist, you should listen immediately to our helpful commentary on 1986′s The Fly. Although your handsome hosts are not actual scientists, they will professionally guide you through film facts, improbable user interfaces in cinema, Jason’s magical journey through someone else’s beard, post-coital decorum, judging hairstyles, science over belief, the BrundleFly / Michael Jackson connection, Matt trying J&B for the first time and other means by which to make your flesh crazy. So, take a deep penetrating dive into our plasma pool, and we’ll see you on the other side.
Everybody needs some change now and again, to get away from it all and become someone else. Or… something else. So, enter the disintegration chamber and your handsome hosts will see you on the other end with their recombinant commentary for 1958′s The Fly. Sometimes you have to destroy in order to create, and Matt and Jason do their share of breaking down movie background, math wizards, dumb horror podcasts, the perils of Canadian French, heavy metal facelifts, the hotness of crying girls, repressed ’50s housewives, tips for finding sex entertainment in Quebec, post-1985 James Bond hate, and other questionable experiments. But, don’t worry. They wouldn’t harm anything… not even a fly.