Nazarene charlatan, what can you offer humanity? Certainly not the greatest horror commentary podcast… EVER! And where he has failed, Matt and Jason deliver with their utterly blasphemous commentary on 1981′s The Final Conflict. So, sit back and let your handsome hosts show you the raptures of their kingdom through movie facts, feeling the spirit, Bud Dwyer, Reagan and the Fundies, Christian hypocrisy, the enjoyment of power, Jason’s fascination with twins, bad girls, failed prophecies and other trivial lusts and perversions. Disciples of the Watch… do you HEAR US!
Is it real… or all make believe? People say that a lot about Matt and Jason but you might also place the burden of that question upon this episode’s movie, 1935′s Mark of the Vampire. With white faces and burning eyes, your handsome hosts occasionally interrupt their drinking to bring you film background, eating stale gingerbread houses, Hollywood orgies, completely unrelated movies, hissing in film, anger for the end of this flick, the attraction of villainy and more deadly cold breath on your throat. It might not end the way you think but it’ll still be the hilariously debauched hell ride you crave.
Achtung, Terror Fiends! Run for the attic because your handsome hosts are goose-stepping their way into all things verboten with their commentary on the 1977 Nazi zombie classic, Shock Waves. Your food supply might be running out but there’s plenty of Matt and Jason to go around as they dictate movie details, perverted New Year’s resolutions, “flapjacks”, time travel shenanigans, the 3/4 Rule, Unterseezombies, and extensive discussion on Nazi interest in the occult, plus a special announcement or two and listener e-mail. Frohes neues Jahr!
How can you keep two handsome hosts of a horror commentary podcast from turning into a thousand ugly monsters? First, don’t pour cheap liquor onto (or into) them. Second, make sure they can’t record at night and away from all sunlight. And, third, stop them from feeding after midnight upon 1984′s Gremlins. Well, okay, you really can’t stop them so you might as well stand aside and let them make a mess of movie details, teen rebel memories, Jason’s hatred for Aretha Franklin and shoulder pads, Matt’s comparison of Gremlins to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, plenty of Phoebe Cates worship, burlesque bosoms, Richie Rich, the glorious greed of Christmas, horror in malls, Gizmo the Ladies’ Man and other adorable cries from the ornate Chinese box. So, listen in or we’ll stuff your dead dad down the chimney in a Santa suit.
Imagine someone coming towards you… who wants to kill you… regardless of the consequences. Imagine also that your death will be filmed for the voyeuristic enjoyment of a scopophiliac. What’s that, you say? Well, it seems you need to listen to Matt and Jason’s eye-opening commentary on 1960′s Peeping Tom. Have a seat in the darkened theater as your handsome hosts reveal film trivia, Jason’s love for this movie, sympathetic killers, comparisons to Psycho, bad mothers, vicarious thrills, gender bending, snuff films, the advantages of being blind, metal sub-referencing, and other mood setters. And while you’re watching the screen… we’ll be watching YOU!
It’s late at night and you’re driving down a lonely highway. As your last ounce of strength to fight off sleep is exhausted, you see a neon sign through the rain-splashed windshield. It directs you to a seemingly quaint motel with plenty of vacancies. What a relief! All you want to do is rest… but this could also be your final resting place. What to do? Well, don’t bother with that useless Bible in the nightstand drawer when you can get all of the survival tips you need from Matt and Jason’s commentary on the 1960 Hitchcockian hair-raiser, Psycho. Your handsome hosts don’t set a fancy table, but the kitchen is full of movie facts, Hitchcock’s profile, Jason’s poorly-hidden sex toys, ethical grey areas, oversized ’60s bras, bad hair, taxidermy as sexual metaphor, phone booths, Lemmy, Matt’s Hollywood metal memories, and one suspiciously missing butcher knife. But don’t concern yourself with that. After all, they wouldn’t even harm a fly.
People often put teenagers down. Whether it’s for their music or their fashions or their inexperience with the world around them, teens sure get a lot of flack. On top of all that, they might even have to deal with uncontrollable lycanthropic tendencies and related bloodthirsty demands. When that happens, the only ones to turn to are Matt and Jason as they unleash the savage instincts of 1957′s I Was A Teenage Werewolf. Try not to cry as they inject you with film details, the dread of meeting the parents, Matt’s hatred for whistlers, Jason’s reading glasses sex ploy, teenage hormonal rage, marrying gorillas, booby hatches, Costello Meets Cohen’s Wallet, shaved porn, not-picky blind girls, killing retro TV show brats and other transformative tidbits. Now, really. What’s one life compared to such a podcast?
Written in Blood by Matt / Category of Unstoppable Evil: Blog /
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Terror Transmission attends Monster Bash 2011 in Butler, PA – June 24th through 26th. It took a few years but Tom Savini FINALLY let us interview him! See how much fun is had as Tom discusses his special effects masterpieces, thoughts on directors and films of today, his own acting career, and much more.
Who could possibly gather all of the monsters together for a fun-filled romp during the spookiest time of the year? None other than your handsome Halloweeny hosts as we serve up a stop-motion animation feast from 1967 known as Mad Monster Party. Learn all about the secrets of destruction as well as movie background, anti-unicorn sentiments, hot puppets, ethnic humor in a PC world, the failures of unattractive people, Jason’s unnatural love for Phyllis Diller, reflections on Hitler, zine fondness, chicks who dig a little struggle, special treatment for special people and other facts that will keep you one step ahead. The invitation is sent. Will YOU attend?
Are you ready for Freddy? Your handsome hosts sure are and we’ve stayed up WAY too late to bring you the 1984 classic slasher, A Nightmare On Elm Street. So, pick up a bottle and veg out with us as we put to bed some razor-sharp movie trivia, the whiskey spit take, the hotness of availability, ’80s morality, how Matt became a KISS fan, sleepwear advice for ladies, childhood bedroom shockers, the paralyzing fear of herpes, slutty theater girls and other things a crucifix won’t stop. Then, when you wake up — IF you ever wake up — stick around as we rip our way through listener e-mail. Enjoy the show or just our pretty voices. But whatever you do. Don’t. Fall. Asleep.
